Monday, January 28, 2008

Southernisms


I got these from an email, but I think it originated here.


1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie
fit and a conniption fit.
2. Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish make up a mess.
3. A true Southerner can point you in the general direction of
cattywumpus.
4. A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in
"Going to town, be back directly."
5. Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a
request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty
little bowl in the middle of the table or a request for heroin.
6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
7. No true Southerner has a problem handling his (or her) "pot likker."
8. True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of
solace for neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken
and a big bowl of cold tater salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis,
they also know to add some hot biscuits and a nanner puddin'.)
9. True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "pert'
near" and "a right far piece."
10. True Southerners both know and understand the differences
between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
11. True Southerners never go snipe hunting twice.
12. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the
flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
13. True Southerners sometimes wear long sleeves, but only if they
roll 'em up past the elbows.
14. True Southerners are born knowing that you should never loan
your tools, pickup, or gun to anybody.
15. True Southerners have always known that the South is more American
than America.
16. To this list, add: begins a friendly conversation with the phrase,
"How's mama an 'em".
17. And any Southerner knows where "over yonder" is - or just when
to insert "I reckon" into the conversation.

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