Sunday, January 13, 2008

I love the old Bi-Lo, but not enough to marry it

Yes. It's true. I love shopping at Bi-Lo #41. It's obvious lack of selections due to location and square footage make my shopping sprees brief, kinda like a retail therapy quickie. I know I've been accused of "using" the old Bi-Lo when I am too tired to go to Walmart, but that's not entirely true. Lately Walmart's been kinda on the retail rag and I'm tired of standing in line for "self checkout". I mean- why do I even bother stopping by anyway? Yeah- you lure me in with your cheap "tricks" and every day low price strategy, but where is the love? My dollar doesn't seem to stretch like it used to Walmart- no offense.
Anyway- like I was saying. The old Bi-Lo- ('cause there are 2 in town and I don't want to confuse you with the "new" Bi-Lo 'cause I hardly EVER go there- I hear it is "enhanced") is like my grocery sweet spot. I can be in and out in less than 10 and still be home by 6 with just 2 registers open. Can I get this kinda service anywhere else? No. Nowhere. Well maybe CVS- but they don't got it goin' on like da OLD Bi-Lo.
It's also like a mini- adventure. I get tired of watching weird crap on tv, I want to see it LIVE. Old Bi-Lo's got it all. Want to see something like Fear Factor? Visit the meat center. One time I saw chicken feet packaged for sale right next to the chicken breast (like that's anatomically possible- musta sold outa the thighs that day). Another time it was ox tails. Who raises oxen these days anyway? Maybe it taste good with the chicken feet. They also carry rabbit. I don't eat rabbit, but it's nice to know I CAN. See, this strange food variety stimulates my brain and makes me think of things like voodoo, New Orleans, the Amish and Davey Crocket.
Besides all the fun I have shopping here, the old Bi-Lo likes to give me holiday presents. Last Year I got a turkey AND a ham. When was the last time Walmart gave me anything? I mean, besides making me wait in excrutiatingly long lines that make my baby scream from sheer boredom.
Like I said, I love the old Bi-Lo, but not enough to marry it. If we were married, I wouldn't get to drop in at Harris Teeter on my lunch break and try all the fresh fruit samples.

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