Friday, December 28, 2007

My Benny Hill Moment


Setting the scene-
you must imagine this in fast forward- with the Benny Hill music going-As an incredible favor, a friend of mine let us stay at her beach house for the weekend. On this particular day, we- my husband, 14 yr old and 18 mo. old baby and I are on the beach at beautiful Oceanside Village-a private beach. The beach house comes with a golf cart- so we are taking advantage of it.

We set up camp by a little pool of water since my baby is scared of the ocean. After repeatedly popping him for throwing sand- I resort to using 1 of the lounge chairs as a "Time Out" chair. He has no idea what this is so just keeps screaming and throwing sand. Eventually he calms down and we build sandcastles, turd castles (looks like a melted wax- but named after my husband Tuff Turd- but I'll save that for another blog), dig holes and other beach stuff- aka sit and bake.

It is fun- but now the tide is coming in and it brought a "jellyfish"! My yelling this to grab the attention of my family also grabs the attention of a young couple walking by. Guy has athletic slim build, girl is young and naturally hot (as in not surgically improved but organic). They stop and stare, but move on. Of course – she is the only other female on the beach older than 18 and younger than 50- so she is on Tommie's radar (poor H- he is more interested in the boogie board and not the beach bunny). When they leave- I pick the jellyfish up with a stick and toss it in the sand dunes to get it out of our play area- we were here first ya know.

Poor girl has a goober for a boyfriend- when the beach patrol drives by- boyfriend has to flag them down and inquire about the jellyfish and rattle of a list of geeky questions like "OH officer –is it safe to go back into the water? Blah Blah BLAH- He stopped the cops right behind my lounge chair- thanks punk. They finally leave.

It's getting late –we pack up and head to the golf cart- but wait young couple is also packing up. Tommie makes his best effort to "appear" to look in the opposite direction- but I am no idiot and his shades are not that dark- whatever- it is the beach.
We are now loaded onto the cart, but no matter how he "tries" to avoid young couple (mainly hot girl), he keeps running into great difficulty- she is now rinsing off in the OUTDOOR SHOWER! I must give him credit- I think he did try not to look- Hell even I looked, but at this point he is driving us out of the parking lot and is "not looking" so hard he ALMOST runs us into short palm tree, jerks the wheel- saves the golf cart, but I get whacked full force with the all the palm fronds.

Just like in the show- he scrunches his shoulder up and we drive off- me nagging away and fuming.

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